Let’s countdown to calm

Mindfulness…grounding…centering. You  may have heard these terms getting tossed around pretty frequently over the last few years, but really what in the world do they all mean?! Is it only for yogis and Buddhists? And, better yet, how do I become zen like them without wearing yoga pants or chanting? Keep reading, friends, we’re all about to calm tf down. 

Grounding etc.

Ok, picture yourself driving home from school or work. You zone out because you’ve done this route a thousand times and all of a sudden, you’re home. You don’t remember if you ran any red lights, you barely even realize you made the drive. We’ve all done this and typically it’s no big deal (unless you get a ticket for running a red light and then, so sorry!). It’s a little of an out of  body experience, but not typically a cause for concern. 

Now, imagine this happening when you don’t want it to, like having a flashback or a panic attack. You become triggered, maybe for a reason unknown to you at this time, and suddenly you feel like you’re out of your body. Your mind starts racing, your heart starts beating faster, and you are freaking tf out. Maybe you’re trapped in a memory or your mind and body are telling you there’s something extremely dangerous and wrong happening. 

Whatever the reason, you are not quite who you were a few seconds ago. Would you say you are not grounded in your body? Ah, ha! This is where the term grounding comes in. So, how do we pull you back in?

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Counting? Seriously, Lauren?! Ok, it’s a little bit more involved than that. But honestly, not by much. When your mind has gone to this other place, you may hear therapists refer to it as your “lizard” brain. We don’t really have that per say, but your brain and your body begin to respond in a more instinctive way vs the more rational approach we normally have towards the world. 

So, we bring in some very basic and simple techniques during these times because we can’t handle much more than that when we’re panicky and out of our own bodies. We need a gentle approach to bring us back to this present moment and assure our minds and bodies we are safe and we can handle this. And the more we do this, the more our brain begins to trust that we really can handle these moments. They begin to become easier to manage. Maybe we even start to recognize the signs that panicky, dissociative (out of body), or flashback moments are about to happen because our brains aren’t as scared that we can’t handle this. 

The goal with this technique is to bring awareness to your surroundings in the now. 

Name 5 things you can see.

Bonus points if you bring some awareness to things you might not normally check out. Things like imperfections on your phone case, things that are only green, all the circle shaped things in the room. Really it can be whatever you want, the hope is that your mind has something visual to grab onto instead of mindlessly taking it all in. 

Name 4 things you can feel.

This can be what you can reach out and touch. But this can also be what's touching you. Feel the fabric of your pants touching your legs, the chair supporting your bootie, the air blowing through your hair. Again, all these little sensations your brain typically filters out, let's notice them!

Name 3 things you can hear.

Pay attention to the everyday sounds we normally tune out: the refrigerator kicking on, cars driving down the street, fan’s blowing, keyboards clicking. If you’re quiet enough, can you hear yourself breathing? Letting a big sigh out and inhaling deeply. 

Name 2 things you can smell.

Maybe you wear a scented lotion or recently shaved. Are you outside and can smell the car exhaust, or the grass, or the fast food restaurant down the street. Do you love essential oils and have some nice, calming lavender around you? What about an unlit candle? 

Name 1 thing you can taste.

I recently had a client tell me they use their chapstick for this one. And my mind was blown. Had never even considered it! And the best part is, you can smell the chapstick, feel the sensation of it going onto your lips, and taste it there too. It really brings some awareness with several different sensations. Kudos to that client for coming up with this all on their own, I love it! You can also pop a mint into your mouth or take a drink and notice the taste. If you have nothing else available to you, just observe the taste of your own saliva in your mouth. Not a great taste and now you’ve decided you need to brush your teeth? Guess what, you just brought yourself back to the present moment and your mind has switched to a more rational thought process. So good job and nice oral hygiene!  

Bonus Sensation!

Balance. That’s it. Try standing on one foot, balancing a pencil on the end of your finger, even walking in a straight line with one foot in front of the other. This causes a different part of your brain to be activated, as well, and can immediately snap you back into reality. But still use all the above exercises too because it’s still teaching your brain that we know how to calm ourselves down and we can handle this!  

One Size Does Not Fit All

Here’s the thing with grounding: one technique will not always work. That would be like having one outfit that would be appropriate in any setting. Ideal, but not realistic. It can be overwhelming with the amount of grounding or mindfulness exercises that are out there, though. So my encouragement is to choose maybe 2-3 and really practice those. Because here’s the other thing: Practice will make perfect. Sometimes trying a brand new thing when your mind is freaking out can work fine. Most times though, it’s a difficulty and your brain only wants to grab onto the easiest thing that brings it back to stability. So if you’ve been practicing when nothing is really going on, your brain recognizes that we do this, it’s familiar and not coming out of left field. And if you’ve been practicing a few different things, when one doesn’t work, chances are higher that one of the other ones will instead. Sometimes trying grounding feels uncomfortable and weird. Totally ok, let’s try to push through that discomfort. For anyone walking around with high anxiety or trauma, it’s completely abnormal to slow your brain down because the anxiety and being on high alert has been what’s kept you safe in the past. So, the discomfort comes in trying to teach your brain and your body that now we’re learning new ways to keep us safe. 

Did you try this technique or have another one you love? Drop a comment below and let me know what worked for you!